Analysis: Heros and Heroines

Last weekend I went on a silent retreat at Gonzaga called Montserrat. Most of the retreats at Gonzaga are held at the GU owned retreat house, Bozarth, which is this huge old mansion up Division near Whitworth. Bozarth from front faces what looks like a normal neighborhood, but from the back you can see that it sits on the top of this hill overlooking this valley of wilderness. All the back windows are huge so that you can grasp the beauty of the views.

The mansion itself is a hide n' seekers dream: there are secret nooks and crannies, closets that have weird corners to hide in, servants quarters, a library, an attic, a basement, and of course, a legend about a woman named Conchita who haunts the place (who murdered her lover, his wife and herself in the place) made up by enthusiastic Freshmen Retreat leaders decades ago.

Anyways. 10 of us were up at Bozarth for silent retreat last weekend. I went on a run on Saturday down the hill into the valley. There's this great waterfall halfway down, and I went off the path and trekking through the woods a little to get to it. Finally, a trio of fallen trees with moss on them stopped me...I couldn't go under or over, so I just sat on them watching the waterfall for a little bit. At one point I heard and saw two men go by on the path, and I just kind of stayed hidden, thinking of all the adventure stories I had ever read that would start with exactly that sort of scene.

As I ran back, I got to thinking about all those heroes and heroines I've read for so long and what makes me really love one. Some people call it spunk, and other people call it gumption. Theres a host of other words: spirit, pizazz, vivaciousness, etc. I always look for it in my friends, and obviously in guys.

I feel like people qualify each other based on their intelligence, religion, or their sense of humor, or their conversation skills. But when I'm looking to spend time with someone, whether in a book or real life, I'm looking for something beyond all that. (Not that those things aren't important.) I'm looking for that something extra. The penchant to be fascinated. A wide spectrum of interest. A big perspective...and still so much more. It comes down to one of those moments when I have to admit my sub-par abilities as an articulator, and admit that language, once again has failed to capture my meaning.

The really sad thing is that I know a good amount of girls with it, but much fewer guys. Maybe that's why a book is more likely to have female heroine instead of a hero. I've only met a few men that possess that certain something, and only once has it meant a meeting, a sort of partnership of those...somethings.

Maybe that's why I'm so particular about character development in novels and film. And even more particular in my personal life. I have high standards. And if I can't define what I want, how can I look for it?